Cwtch Mawr

10 Cathedral Road, Pontcanna [map]


Cwtch Mawr (Welsh for the nauseatingly twee 'big cuddle') is part of boutique hotel Jolyon's. Posh, innit?


For some reason, The Photographer is particularly thrilled by the prospect of a pint of McEwan's.

It's not much of a drink, to be honest, but it did inspire this memorable 1980s TV advert. So that's good.


Shit me, look at the size of that jar of olives. It's as if we've had an alcoholic blackout and ended up in Wally's Deli by mistake.


Actually, this is a bit like sitting in the drawing room of some grand country house. Albeit one that happens to have three different types of lager on tap.


A doorway with the words The Writing Room above it leads into this idiosyncratic little corner, home to the ugliest seats in Pontcanna.


Head down those steps on the left and you'll wend your way to the hotel reception.

Any temporary accommodation in which you're obliged to go through a bar in order to reach your room is all right by us.

The Beverley

75-77 Cathedral Road, Pontcanna [map]


"Bar, dining & hotel," promises the signage above the door. If that's not a good day out, we don't know what is.

Although whether two meals for a fiver quite constitutes "dining" remains to be seen.


But we're not really interested in eating. Not when there's beer to be drunk.

Quite why anywhere would bother stocking both Carlsberg and Carling remains a mystery. Many years of intensive research has taught us that there's only so much cooking lager you can drink.

As you can tell by the discombobulating slant, the bar area once doubled up as a baddies' lair in a 1960s Batman episode.


Despite - or perhaps because of - the angle, the service is remarkably swift. So swift, in fact, that it's actually resulted in motion blur.


There's something reassuring about seeing a fruit machine in a pub, even if you never play it. The way it speaks of a sense of optimism in the face of the bleakest of odds borders on the poetic.

More pragmatically, it's also a nice little earner for the landlord.

Robin Hood

16 Severn Grove, Pontcanna [map]


The air outside the Robin Hood is thick with testosterone today. It's an aroma that's not a million miles removed from that of Lynx Alpha.


Having inhaled all that Lynx, we're a bit light-headed by the time we shuffle inside.

Fortunately there's some form of emergency lighting device on the bar to lead us in the right direction.


Oooh, and they've got crisps too. All the crisps.


This is, of course, the pub that was once run by Charlotte Church's parents. But the celebrity links don't end there.

They've got signed photos on the walls of everyone from Wales's drunkest man Rhys Ifans to Terry Jones, in the guise of Monty Python's Mr Creosote.


The plaque even reads, "Terry Jones. Monty Python. Mr Creosote." Just in case you thought that's what he usually looks like.


But, more excitingly, tonight they're holding a wake for someone who's not actually dead yet, as they wanted to attend their own funeral.

Idiot.


For those of us still in the land of the living, there's a good-sized outside area round the back, too.

Although between that barbecue hardwired into an enormous gas cylinder and the TV set with a mains connection that looks as if it's been strung together by Dodgy Dave himself, we wouldn't be entirely surprised if there are a few more wakes here in the very near future.

Y Mochyn Du

Sophia Close, Pontcanna [map]


A funny looking pub, this. It's as if it was designed by the Brothers Grimm while taking a quick break from composing fairy tales about cannibalistic witches.


Plenty of choice at the bar, with a particular focus on wine, quality lagers such as Grolsch and Amstel, and (whisper it) various types of coffee.

What sort of sick pervert goes to the pub only to then order a cup of coffee?


There's a particularly hilarious game of Angry Birds going on at the bar, by all accounts.


It's cavernous rather than cosy but this does at least mean there's always somewhere to sit.

Note also ready supply of HP Sauce and other condiments at the end of the bar. Anywhere that eschews those hopeless little sachets of ketchup in favour of squeezy bottles is all right by us.


There's both a conservatory and a large decked area outside so, weather permitting, you've got an embarrassment of seating options.

Trees shooting up through the middle of decking always slightly disturbs us though. Like drinking coffee in pubs, it's just not right.

The Conway

58 Conway Road, Pontcanna [map]


It's a curious place this - but we like it. From the outside, it's a slightly uncomfortable cross between an old-school alehouse and a modish gastro pub.

Which is pretty much what it's like on the inside.


We're not really ones for real ale but couldn't resist something that's brewed in Pontypridd and is simply called Boss.

Lager lovers, fear not though: your Carling et al is round the other side of the bar.


We're all for putting an area aside for a particular variety of spirit, although dubbing this Whisky Corner is somewhat overstating things.

Some Bottles on a Shelf would be more accurate.


The main boozing area is fairly poky but that does mean you're never more than about three feet from the bar, which is no bad thing.


We eventually burst through to the other side of the pub (walking casually proves tricky after a few pints of Boss, it seems) to uncover the dining area.

Segregating the serious foodies from the serious drinkers is, it transpires, a sound idea after all.

The Cricketers

66 Cathedral Road, Pontcanna [map]


There's plenty to take in as you approach The Cricketers, including an appallingly parked bicycle and an entirely unanticipated barbecue - via the fact that a member of ZZ Top appears to be sat on one of the benches.


We're already a few drinks in but manage to hold it together for long enough to avail ourselves of some delicious lager.

Well, two pints of Carlsberg, anyway.


An abundance of eager bar staff. Just as well really, as there's lots going on for a Saturday afternoon - from a wedding party in one corner, to a live band down the end of a marquee (more of which in a moment).


There's loads of room, with a plethora of comfy seating and the whole place is tastefully - if slightly blandly - decorated.


The Cricketers also houses all the cutlery you could ever hope for.


We lurch out the back only to find ourselves in an enormous tent populated by a dozen or so punters gawping at a covers band known as Acoustic Zeppelin. Who, as the name suggests, perform acoustic versions of Led Zep songs.

As you can see, they're going down an absolute storm.

The Romilly

69-71 Romilly Crescent, Pontcanna [map]


We like a good pub sign - you don't see enough of them. This one, inevitably, features a painting of a romilly.


Sometimes The Photographer just snaps away surreptitiously, hoping no one takes any notice.

But he asked permission here as it was pretty quiet. This is the barmaid phoning the manager to check if it's OK.

Note limited selection of spirits behind the bar, offset by a sizeable display of Hamlet cigars. Curious.


The main action is by the handful of tables just as you come in. By 'action', we mean a couple of locals sitting around having a chat.


Round the other side of the bar and it's all pretty standard stuff. We'd like to know what's in that blue carrier bag though.


We quite like The Romilly but this could be any pub really, couldn't it?


Good size beer garden that actually features a bit of garden. There's even a bird bath in there - something that can't be said of enough pubs these days.

The Cayo

36 Cathedral Road, Pontcanna [map]


This place looks more like a guest house than it does a pub. And - what do you know? - upstairs it offers five en suite bedrooms.

Which must come in handy if you've had a bit of a session and aren't actually capable of leaving the premises under your own power.

And imagine waking up in a pub. What a way to start the day.


Have you ever seen such ridiculously tall pumps? If you're not at least 6ft 5in, don't even think about applying for a job pulling pints here.

More to the point though, what the pissing hell are all those gnomes doing behind the bar?


Plenty going on. There's some furious text messaging, for starters.

Not to mention the first-rate teapot impression that bloke's doing while leaning against the fruit machine.


It's a scientifically proven fact that anyone under the age of 24 is incapable of going to the pub unless it's as part of a group of at least 10 people.


If there's one thing worse than comedy slogan T-shirts, it's comedy slogan pint glasses.


Head out the back and they've got what amounts to a posh gazebo and - in those twisty plant things - some of the most quixotic beer-garden shrubbery you'll ever see.

The Halfway

247 Cathedral Road, Pontcanna [map]


What an audaciously inappropriate name for a drinking establishment. It's impossible to look at the signage without instinctively wanting to tag 'house' on to the end of it.

Although if your idea of a halfway house is a pub, you really are in trouble.


There's a certain hazy quality to these pics, as if the famous Pontcanna smog hasn't quite burned off yet.

Still, through the mist, we can just about discern a familiar selection of lagers on tap - which takes care of the principal qualification we look for in a tavern.


The interior is sombre enough that it maintains the aspect of a traditional boozer, although an outsize TV set and quiz machine inevitably make an appearance.


We've often thought of pubs as hallowed ground - but that bloke seems to be having an actual religious experience.


Curiously, this Brains-run establishment is home to exactly the same model of typewriter that Pint of 45 is composed on. What are the chances?


Outside is a miniature courtyard primarily composed of bunting and pieces of furniture so archaic and uncomfortable that they may well have been used as medieval torture devices.