The Pendragon

Excalibur Drive, Thornhill [map]

The Pendragon is not so much a pub with a car park as a car park with a pub.

After narrowly avoiding being run over by a reversing Honda Civic, we make it to the entrance.

What we're presented with looks less like a barrelhouse than it does a high-end doctor's surgery. Although the idea of being able to have a pint while you're waiting to see your GP is quite appealing.

Pretty standard stuff at the bar: an assortment of drinks from Brains and various multinational conglomerates, some charity collection boxes, a selection of nuts, a barmaid doing the hokey cokey.

This end of the pub is a veritable fun house, with its gaming machines, pool table and large telly excreting sport.

It's still not enough stimulation for that bloke on the right though, who's adding to the sensory overload by playing Fruit Ninja on his phone. After all, no trip to the boozer is complete without the creation of a virtual fruit salad with a katana, right?

No takers today for the cabana or beer garden - although people are probably put off by the fact that a significant part of the outside area appears to be a cordoned-off crime scene. The sort of thing that's enough to put anyone off their SA.